


Test Subjects

by Sparkle_Free



Category: Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Genre: M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-22
Updated: 2010-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkle_Free/pseuds/Sparkle_Free
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watson buys Holmes a guinea pig, since he's fed up with Gladstone being used as one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Test Subjects

"Watson."

"Yes, Holmes?"

"What is that _thing?_"

"It's a guinea pig. You test chemicals on them."

Holmes glared at him. "I already have something to test chemicals on. It's sleeping in front of the fireplace right now, in fact."

Watson hurried over and felt for the dog's pulse, sighing when he finally felt it, weak and erratic, but there. He turned to glare at Holmes. "Well, you are not testing another thing on my dog, Holmes. You have _that_ -" he pointed to the cage, "-now. Understand?" He turned toward the door.

"Our dog," he heard Holmes mutter as he stormed from the room.

\---

"Holmes? What are you doing?"

He sat in the center of the room, a book in one hand and guinea pig resting in the other. A tall stack of books teetered next to him. "Do you realize that guinea pigs eat vegetables, mostly, not that rotting bag of seeds you provided it with?"

Watson frowned. "That's what the man at the store sold me, Holmes. And who cares what it eats? You're going to be feeding it chemicals," he reminded him. Holmes sniffed, offended.

"Well, perhaps if you were more discerning with the diet of _your_ pet, it wouldn't look as though it's legs were going to crack under it's own weight."

Watson knelt next to Gladstone and hugged him defensively. "Our pet," he muttered, "And he's perfectly healthy. Aren't you boy?" he cooed, rubbing the dog's head and getting wet doggy kisses in return. Holmes lifted the guinea pig in his hand and narrowed his eyes at it, as though daring it to drool on him. It lifted its head and sniffed his nose. He smiled at the soft tickle of it's fur and lowered his hand, satisfied. Watson rolled his eyes, but Holmes merely shot them both a superior look. Unfortunately, the guinea pig chose that moment to climb up his arm, leaving a trail of brown pellets in it's wake. Holmes stalked from the room, Watson's peels of laughter echoing down the hall.

\---

Watson pushed open the door to the sitting room warily. He'd been hearing Holmes working in there off and on all night, and whenever a task kept the detective from blowing something up for an entire evening, well, Watson was sure it would be dangerous.

He looked around the walls, confused. A complex maze of tubes had been nailed to the walls, weaving around the room, even across the ceiling, he noted. Holmes stood at the far end of the room, tapping on one of the tubes and cooing quite ridiculously. Watson grinned as he watched the detective. Holmes finally turned enough to notice him and stiffened instantly.

"Good morning," he said sheepishly. "I was just... conducting an experiment."

"With your guinea pig?" Watson smirked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. You see, when I place it in the maze at that end -" he pointed to the other side of the room, "and place a few apple slices at this end, it takes it approximately five minutes and 34 seconds to navigate the maze."

"Well, that's all very interesting," Watson began to flip through their correspondence. He held one up, "This looks promising. A young woman who's fiancee has disappeared. No quarrel, no sign of abduction -"

"Watson, I don't have time for such things," Holmes said dismissively. He pulled the guinea pig from the maze and pet it affectionately. "It's fur is so thin. I wonder if the room is too cold? Perhaps I should stoke the fire. Or perhaps it could use some clothing. A shirt, maybe? Would a hat be too much?"

"Holmes," Watson said flatly.

"Yes?" he glanced up.

"You're taking this case. No arguments."

\---

"Why are there _two_ guinea pigs now?" Watson asked, exasperated.

"Well, this case is very time consuming, and I feared Clara would get lonely, so I purchased her a mate. Meet Frank," he said proudly.

"Holmes, the guinea pig I bought is male. The shopkeeper checked before I purchased it."

"Oh." Suddenly, high pitched squeals erupted from the cage. They both leaned over it, hands on their knees.

"Oh, my."

Holmes straightened. "Well, Clarence is a good enough name, then." Watson sighed.

"I don't know why I expected differently from _your_ guinea pigs."

"_Our_ guinea pigs, my boy. Our."﻿


End file.
